The Sleep Lady Shuffle was working wonderfully and exactly as it was mapped out to work in the book, but then life happened. We went away for a weekend, then she got another cold and before I knew it we were completely off track and I was rocking her to sleep for each nap and bed time again. I figured that we were just going to have to start from square one, but a VERY surprising thing happened and then it happened again.
Lately, I've been having a difficult time rocking her to sleep or even to a drowsy state. It's taking a long time - 20 minutes or more. Her whole body just keeps moving. The past few nights she has not needed much from me at all. I hear her wake and moan, maybe cry a little, a few times, but then she just goes back to sleep. (Yes, I do hear angels singing each time that happens!) So, Monday I decided to try something new. Just before getting to my frustrated state, you know where I've rocked and sang for 20 minutes and the feet are still kicking, I laid her down. I sat in the glider and sang our special song just once, then I left the room without being noticed. It took about 15-20 minutes, but she put herself to sleep! Tuesday, I was forced to do this again since she simply wouldn't settle down and it worked in 15-20 minutes. Today, I used this technique twice. I was a little on the frustrated side for nap #1 and instead of sitting in there I walked out, but 15 minutes later she was asleep. Unfortunately, I tried this at bedtime too and after 10 minutes she was getting so worked up that I went back in and rocked her. It took about 10 minutes to get her to sleep, then she woke when I laid her down. I could feel the frustration starting to creep in, so I left her in her crib and opted to sit next to it and sing. She was out in just a few minutes.
All in all, she has been making EXCELLENT progress in her sleep habits. It is refreshing and wonderful to sleep through the night. Oh, dreams and complete sleep cycles, how I missed you. However, as wonderful as this is, I am a little sad because tonight I realized that if I am laying her down to fall asleep and I'm not picking her up during the night to help her get back to dreamland, then when will I hold her in peaceful slumber and stare at the most beautiful sight in the world? I suppose I can always lengthen the amount of time that I spend standing over her crib watching for the rhythmic breathing and thanking God for this precious gift as I always do before crawling into my own bed each night. This should suffice. After all, isn't this what I've been striving towards for the past 9 months.

cash, check, or cuddles??

Some may wonder what is so wonderful about having kids and in middle of a meltdown in line at the grocery store when I'm exhausted, starving, and wishing that I could have a meltdown myself, I sometimes wonder too, but when day is done and she is all settled and ready for sleep, she rests her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes making me feel so content and blessed that this is what my life has come to be. I am woken up just about every night to a crying baby who just wants her mommy to hold her...and to be rocked...and her pacifier...and her ducky, but that's all. I treasure those moments, tedious as it is most of the time, they are sometimes the best part of my day. Sure, I hope that she will soon change her night sleep habits so I can finally sleep through the night, but until then, I will enjoy them as best I can.

starting over

I was so happy with the progress we were making with nap time, but then Thursday came. We went to Refresh in the morning and she fell asleep in the car on the way home. She took a wonderful 2 hour+ nap. Later that day I went for a walk and she fell asleep in the stroller for about 30 minutes. After allowing her to fall asleep while on the move I did not have an easy time on Friday. She took 2 half hour naps that day. I NEEDED her to sleep longer for quite a few reasons: (1) I was spoiled from the previous 2 days, (2) I had to pack because we were going away for the weekend, (3) I tried 5 times to get her to nap only being successful twice. She kept telling me she was tired so I kept trying - big mistake. That only gets me frustrated. So, Friday didn't go my way. Since we were in Tecumseh for the weekend I let her fall asleep for all but 1 nap in the car. Saturday she took her usual 3-30 minute naps and Sunday she didn't get a chance to sleep until we were driving home from church. She was still talking to herself when we turned down their street and by the time we got out of the car she was out cold. She slept for 2 hours with the help of the white noise. Then took another hour nap on the drive home.

I thought I was using the "No Cry Sleep Solution" method of getting her to fall asleep on her own, but after skimming the book as a refresher I realized that I am in fact using the Sleep Lady Shuffle. Very similar concepts, except that with the no cry the parent makes the call on how quickly to move. I would rather not have another thing to debate and question myself over so I'm going with the sleep lady who says to move every 3 days. She's doing great! I found that I might be waiting just a bit too long to lay her down so last night I tried to get her eased into bed when she was still just a teensy bit more awake. I ended up having to sit by her crib for 30 minutes, but amazingly it still worked. I decided not to confuse things with nap time and keep the chair in the same place for both naps and bedtime. Monday was a fairly decent day, Tuesday good, today awesome. She took a 2 hour nap this morning and is now at 45 minutes for her 2nd nap. I already cleaned the whole house so I'm pretty much just chillin'. Wow! Really? I'm just sitting here...guilt free. aaahhhh! This is nice. I love nap time.

it's actually working....I think

On Monday, I started using the "No Cry Sleep Solution" techniques for putting Claire to sleep for her naps. I felt like it was a good time to get started since rocking her to sleep was taking much longer than it used to; quite often 20 minutes or so. Here's how it's progressing so far.

Day 1:
Attempt #1 was completely unsuccessful. She slept in until 10:00 this morning so we had a late start on our naps. I rocked her until she was drowsy and then laid her down. To prevent myself from getting frustrated and throwing in the towel on day 1, I set a goal of 20 minutes at the side of the crib. After my allotted time I gave up and figured we'd try again in an hour or so. She was happily playing in the living room at about 3:15 when all of a sudden she had simply had enough. She wailed through her diaper change just desperate to go to sleep. It didn't take more than a minute of rocking once I got her calm and she was out cold. Poor girly. Total nap hours: 1

Day 2:
She slept in today until about 9:00 so we started trying our first nap around 11:00. I rocked her until the little eyes started to close and then laid her down. She woke right up. After 45 minutes of off and on singing, she started crying. It was about time for her to eat...so we gave up. A couple hours later we gave it another shot. I saw my first glimmer of success with this nap. She fell asleep after 20 minutes of singing and slept for her typical 30 minutes. I was going to try again 2 hours later, but Adam came home from work and wanted to go for a walk. I thought she would certainly fall asleep during a long walk, but of course, I was wrong. She stayed wide awake the whole time and enjoyed the ride. Total nap hours: 0.5

Day3:
It was amazing, miraculous even! Two hours after she woke up we went into her room as usual. I rocked her for about 5 minutes and once her eyes closed I carefully laid her down in her crib. I think it helped that I waited just a bit longer than yesterday. She woke up, but I remained calm and kept singing. After about 7 minutes she was out - on her own, in her crib!! She woke briefly after 30 minutes, but went right back to sleep for another 1 1/2 hours. Heaven! About 2 1/2-3 hours after she woke we gave it another try. It went just about the same except that there was a little crying when I laid her down. She slept for another hour. I spent less than an hour total helping her get to sleep today and she took 2 "normal" naps for the second time in at least 4 or 5 months. Total nap hours: 3 hours

I'm hoping for another great day tomorrow, but I will not expect much so that I don't get frustrated. We'll see how she does with me sitting a little ways away from the crib.

Adam is rocking her to sleep tonight. I have a few minutes to myself, but I can't stop thinking about what is happening in her room. I can hear his voice carry through the slight crack I left in the door and down the hall. He is singing to her and it is one of the sweetest sounds. My heart melts. Instead of soaking in these moments of "me time" I'm picturing him holding her tight to him, rocking back and forth, her eyes fixate on the circles of her curtain and then slowly close. She must be sleeping now because the singing has stopped. All I can hear now is the hum of the refrigerator and the tap tap of my keyboard. I bet she looks so beautiful laying there in his arms. And I bet that he is thinking the same thing.

I'm seeing improvement

Claire is in day 10 of RSV. It's waning, but we still have a ways to go before she's back to normal. To help her breathe better I've been putting her in the bathroom in her swing while I take a long, hot shower. The steam does wonders! I heard her talking to herself as I lathered up and the next thing I knew there was silence. Yea! Asleep! I hurried through the rest of my shower routine and exited in perfect silence. I cleaned the kitchen - still sleeping. I dusted the whole house - still sleeping. I swept, swiffered, and scrubbed the floors in the kitchen, dining, stairway, downstairs, and laundry room, then folded 2 loads of laundry - still sleeping. I even talked to Melissa while all this was going on. She napped for 3 hours! I haven't gotten a gift like that since November. It was wonderful, but there was a price to pay. She woke several times before I could get her buckled into her bouncer. Then woke at an average of every 1 1/2 throughout the night. I was quite cranky this morning when she decided to wake at 7:00, which would have been normal and perfectly acceptable except that she needed so much from me all night long. Granted, she is still sick. Today has been a great day of napping. After waking so early she fell asleep nursing at 7:45. Woke 30 min later. I rocked her to sleep at 10:45ish and she - get this - slept for 1 1/2 hours! Another wonderful nap. I put her down for another nap at 3:30 so I have about 5 min before she wakes. Better get going to make dinner. I'll add to this if she happens to go longer, but I am perfectly ok with seeing her cute smile in a few. Thank you God for making my baby sleep longer - it is a huge blessing!

Peaceful Slumber

She makes my heart melt! Wrapped in a fuzzy pink blanket is a great dream come true. She's mine...I watch the slow, rhythmic rising and falling and know that all is right in my little world. After a few moments in which time seems to stand still, I sneak out in absolute silence; torn between the notion of having "me time" and scooping her back up to cuddle until the little eyes flutter open again.

2 hour+ nap

Well, I must have worn her out today. We woke up just in time to get to Refresh (MOPS at Riverview Church) this morning and for the first time I left her in the infant class. She made it through most of the meeting, but they had to have me come get her about 15 min. before it ending since she decided that she missed me. She stopped crying the moment she realized mommy was holding her. After I did clean-up duty with Claire in tow we headed home. I'm assuming she slept most of the way. I stopped at Burger King on the way home so that I could eat lunch while driving and made a phone call while parked in the driveway. She slept through it all! I unloaded the car and put her in her room where she slept...and slept.....and slept! We left church at 11:51 and she woke up at 2:15ish. Hallelujah!! I got so much done as she slept and it felt wonderful. Gotta go. time for another nap - just a 30-minute one this time, I'm sure. : )

This is Beauty

There is nothing sweeter than the sight of your sleeping baby. It means that you have done everything needed of you, everything that you could do. And this is your reward - beautiful, perfect. For all that is required of you at this moment is to simply sit and look at her and think about what her future might bring.

Grrrr!

Tonight is another one of THOSE nights. She fell asleep an HOUR ago, slept for 20 min. and is up. Adam is with her now since nothing I've tried tonight is working. This is playing out almost EXACTLY like last night.

I started this blog to provide a place to vent about the most frustrating, irritating, time-consuming thing in my life - getting a baby to go to sleep and stay asleep. When I talk to Adam about it he says I'm being pessimistic. Well, at least I'm being realistic. I didn't want to post to the existing Kendall Blog because that is meant for happy things that we want to remember and share with everyone, but I can't be happy, or witty, or write with concern for the interest of my readers. Not in this state. 'Cause I'm mad!! It's no use to complain to anybody because they just say or think, "She's a baby. What do you expect?" So that's supposed to make it all rosy? It still pisses me off that I can spend up to 4 hours a day, 28 hours a week trying to get her to sleep.

After months of trying the gentle techniques, I am burnt out. I don't want to TRY anymore. I CAN'T try anymore. At what point do we just leave her in there crying.........I may be pissed and frustrated beyond belief, but I'm not there yet. Last night she was up until 10:00. You would think that after 1 1/2 hours of napping today she would pass out tonight - but no! I had her strapped into her bouncer all calm and peacefully dreaming. One thing left to do before I could leave the room - slide my hand out from under her thigh. Thumb free. Pinky free. Ring finger free. The eyes pop WIDE open and my "me time" for the day is cut to 1 hour instead of 2.

I'll talk to Adam tonight about the "Sleep Lady Shuffle". It's a gentle method of teaching her to fall asleep on her own. You start out seated right by the crib and progressively work your way out of the room. It's supposed to take 2 weeks - call me crazy, but our little peanut is not going to master the art of falling asleep in 2 weeks. The only thing she's becoming a master at is "most stubborn being in the house", which is saying a lot if you know Adam or I at all.

Ahhhh! A sigh of relief....she's asleep only 1 1/2 hours after she usually (used to) falls asleep. Now for me time.....I've been waiting for this.